This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
