ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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