This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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