We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
