If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
