she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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