How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You were trust falling into bushes
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
