it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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