the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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