You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
