Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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