If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I have already put on my inside pants.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
