Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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