another moral hangover. fuck.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
