i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
