Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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