it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
