Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
How does it feel to date your dad?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
