they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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