If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
