So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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