I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
17 year olds will be the death of me.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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