Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
