this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
