Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
