I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
