Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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