He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so let's talk penis.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
