She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
