My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
