is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
