sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
How does one acquire holy water?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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