Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize