Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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