1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
