Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low

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(973): View more from New Jersey

all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.

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(714): View more from California

walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined

(714): View more from California

he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day

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(330): View more from Ohio

French fry pizza

(502): View more from Kentucky

Are you brilliant or just really high?

(330): View more from Ohio

Can't it be both?

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(573): View more from Missouri

I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...

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(914): View more from New York

I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.

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(917): View more from New York City

I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food

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(448): View more from

sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth

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(239): View more from Florida

My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.

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