I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
