God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
