I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
