guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
