If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
