And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
