he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
