Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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