The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i want to swaddle you in tequila
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
