So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
