turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
