So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
