Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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