If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
