she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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