I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
