she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
