I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
