woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
