Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
