I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
