Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
