these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
