yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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