He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
